At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
drinking out of a sandbucket again
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
