I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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