I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
