i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
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