i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
