Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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