ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
