Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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