i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
