i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
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