I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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