but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
