Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
