I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
