Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
