I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
