Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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