Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
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