Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
