You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
