im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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