my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
