So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
My vagina just clenched in fear
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
