Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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