so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
As shirtless as possible
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
