Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I'm at about main and main street
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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