I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
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