with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
