My room smells like vodka and shame
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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