I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
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So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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