i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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