Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I wish you could order shots online.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize