Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
