8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
she woke up with a sticky ear
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
