I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
what is it with giant penises always finding me
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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