I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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