Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
