No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
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Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
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You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
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