guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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