So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
why is half of my head shaved?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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