question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
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