I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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