He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
