haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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