Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize