she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
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When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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