I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
