Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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