I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
