five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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