no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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