I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Randomize
