Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
