I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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