I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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